Meeting other people online is a great way to make friends. Or even having a partner. However, it can happen that you get your heart broken or your wallet emptied, as it happens in the Netflix documentary The Tinder Scammer. Or both things. But you can always avoid getting scammed on dating apps. So let's talk about how we can protect ourselves from these types of people who are not going to care about your pocket (let alone your heart). Let's talk about romantic fraud.
Normal use of Tinder does not include scams, of course. But like everything in this life, the intention of the platform is not always respected by users. In fact, we have already talked about this topic in Hypertextual. However, Simon Leviev (born Shimon Hayut) has broken through all barriers. But might not be the only one. And there are many applications beyond Tinder and you can find them in any corner of the network.
In The Tinder Scammer, the Netflix documentary, it is told how Leviev makes women believe that he is rich; he establishes relationships of love or friendship with them and then makes them believe that his life is in danger so that they lend him very large amounts of money . And he never gives them back.
Romantic fraud: what is it?
Romance scammers like Tinder “use the appearance of a personal relationship to exploit their victim's trust and gain a financial advantage,” explains Cassandra Cross, associate dean of the College of Creative Industries , Education and Social Justice, at the Queensland University of Technology (Australia) in their article in The conversation. Sometimes, they also do it “to access private or classified information”.
“In many cases, the victim and the criminal do not get to know each other. However, as 'The Tinder Scammer' shows, it can also happen in face-to-face relationships”
Cassandra Cross And all of this is happening on the internet, dating apps included, yes; but also on social networks. “In many cases, the victim and the criminal do not get to know each other. However, as The Tinder Scammer shows, it can also happen in face-to-face relationships“, he indicates.
romance scams, whether on Tinder or other social networks, use “engagement techniques, social engineering practices and psychological abuse tactics to gain compliance from their victims.” For all this it is very important to know how people are usually scammed on the internet; because that way we can protect ourselves.
Signs that we are dealing with a scammer on Tinder
People looking to scam others often use very similar techniques, regardless of whether they want to scam you with a love relationship or an apartment. But let's see a little more about romantic fraud.
Scammers often create an attractive profile, which attracts attention. And an identity that “gives off power, wealth and status”, says Cross. This can also happen when you are offered a newly renovated and very cheap apartment in an area where the price is much higher. You have to be wary because scams don't just happen on Tinder and the signs that we are dealing with a scam can sometimes be very similar.
Love bombing or love bombing is also typical. This technique involves the victim receiving “large expressions of affection, including moving quickly toward being 'a couple' and discussing a possible future together.” This is exactly what happened to Cecilie Fjellhoy, one of the victims of the Tinder scammer.
Create an emergency that requires urgent financial assistance. “It could be a business situation, a medical issue, or a criminal justice issue, like saying he's been detained abroad,” explains Cross. And it is that emergencies usually leave us little time to think; These are situations in which you have to act quickly and the money is lent without thinking about the consequences because, in the end, it is a close person who has previously shown you that they have money and that returning it is not going to be a problem. trouble. The Netflix documentary has a lot to do with this.
The financial requirements are extended over time. That is, the urgency becomes continuous over time. In addition, scammers often ask their victims “to transfer money, register credit cards or take out bank loans,” says Cross.
And the moment the victim refuses to lend them money again, for whatever reason, the scammers move on to the next step: “Threatening, abusing or coercing the victim”.
The profile of the victim of romantic fraud
There are people who have seen the documentary and think that this would not happen to them. We are not all the same and, above all, scammers choose their victims very well. They detect a vulnerability and attack from that point. In some people, that vulnerability is the love of a partner; others, they would give everything for their friends. So anyone could find themselves in this situation.
People who believe in romantic love or true love are more likely to become victims
On the other hand, according to an investigation carried out by Cassandra Cross herself, in which she has surveyed victims of romantic fraud similar to the one shown in the Netflix documentary, the result is that there are a series of profiles easier for them to fall for this type of scam. And it is that romantic love and the belief in true love have done a lot of damage. Therefore, people with a tendency to believe in this are more likely to become victims.
“A person's level of vulnerability to fraud is not static; it can change monthly, weekly or even daily. Many victims would not have been fooled if they had seen the message at another time. targeting hundreds of victims in the hope of a single hit,” says Cross. In addition, this vulnerability can come from a previous breakup or a change in the victim's circumstances, such as the fact that they have just retired or the children have left from home.
Techniques related to mistreatment or abuse In addition, scammers like Tinder play with a fire that we have seen before: in situations of mistreatment or abuse.
“My research has also found that many offenders use psychological abuse techniques similar to those commonly found in gender-based violence. Offenders may prevent victims from communicating with family and friends, bombard them with messages to monopolize their attention, or verbally abusing them to make them feel worthless. All of these tactics undermine the victim's ability to think clearly about their situation or seek help.”
Cassandra Cross, Associate Dean of the College of Creative Industries , Education and Social Justice, at Queensland University of Technology A victim of romance fraud doesn't wake up thinking she wants to give away all her money. Or go into debt for life so that someone else can get rich at her expense. There is a whole series of manipulations and circumstances behind it that conclude that these types of scams are successful. Beyond Tinder, Facebook or any social network.
For all this, Cross emphasizes that negative impacts on the victim must be avoided. “They are often blamed and held responsible for their financial losses, and this stereotype makes them less likely to report these crimes.” Therefore, avoiding the social stigma of victims will help make it easier for them to report and for internet scammers to pay for what they have done.
Finally, the best advice that Cross gives is to never lend money that cannot be lost. That is, even knowing the other person in person and having a romantic relationship (better or worse, that is another matter), it is best to avoid lending money if you do not have it.
